2002-02-08T08:31:00.000-08:00

Blinded by unaccustomed light,
I am fixed on the threshold to
where elation beckons
and terror threatens.
Where the lure of light
And fear of dark
hold me in equipoise.
-Neil Dumont, Equipoise (poem)

The life which is, and that which is to come,
Suspended hang in such nice equipoise
A breath disturbs the balance;
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, In the Garden

“You know, I think we need a proctologist to remove that stick from his-” -Me

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of Congress? -Unknown

Me: So far I haven’t seen anything too horrible…well, aside from the baby playing with the entrails.

Math Is The Sum Of The Squared Root Of All Evil -unknown

Kaelyn says:
Yes! I can see the head lines now: "Live Computer Sues for Three Million Ink Cartridges" Daily Sun, here I come!

"It's raining fish hooks and hammer handles!" Laura Ingles Wilder, On the banks of Plum Creek

Harry looked deadpan. "I couldn't help it," he said, glancing from
Hermione, to Ginny, to Ron. "They're just so cute, bless their little
cotton socks." –Draco Veritas, Cassandra Claire

"I hit him with a tea kettle once and he cried like a baby."
"I was four. I was a baby, you ass!" –Draco Veritas, Cassandra Claire

"You live in terror of not being misunderstood."
-"Velvet Goldmine"

Thank you for that bulletin from the Department of the Obvious, Potter"- Draco Veritas, Cassandra Claire

Inuyasha: If you call me Inu-foo-foo one more time, I swear by everything holy that you will not live to see tomorrow."

Dawn broke the next day, coming in through the window and smashing on the floor -Sailor Moon: Alternate Reality, Strike Fiss

It's easier to get forgiveness than permission. -unknown

Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.-unknown

"Good girls go to heaven, but bad ones go everywhere!"-unknown

"Do not meddle in the Affairs of dragons, For thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup" ~uknown

"I'm beginning to see what's so great about poisoning yourself for fun." -Trance Gemini, Andromeda.

"If I killed everyone who was stupid in the world I wouldn't have time to sleep!"
-Tamora Pierce

King of Swamp Castle: This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.-Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Arthur: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
French Soldier: No, now go away before I taunt you a second time.-Monty Python and the Holy Grail

King of Swamp Castle: Some day, lad, all this will be yours.
Prince Herbert: What, the curtains? -Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"His ignorance is encyclopedic"
- Abba Eban (1915-)

"I'll sleep when I'm dead."
- Warren Zevon

"We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"
- Niels Bohr (1885-1962)

The light at the end of the tunnel is just the light of an oncoming train. (Robert Lowell)

Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. (Socrates)

I like children - fried. (W.C. Fields)

"Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. "
- Ross MacDonald (1915-1983)

"He would make a lovely corpse."
- Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

Nancy Astor (to Winston Churchill): If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee!
Churchill: And if I were your husband I would drink it.

Bessie Braddock (to Winston Churchill): Winston, you're drunk.
Churchill: Bessie, you're ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober.

Another victory like that and we are done for. (Pyrrhus)

2001-12-06T10:39:00.000-08:00

"We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything." -Thomas Edison ( thanks Ria!)

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits" -Anonymus (submitted by Ria)

Though they go mad,
they shall be sane
Though they sink through
the sea, they shall rise again
Though lovers be lost,
love shall not
And death shall have no dominion.
~Dylan Thomas

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted;
persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished;
persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.
By Order of the Author
- Mark Twain, "Tom Sawyer"

" Tomorrow will be time enough to slash at each other and to make buttonholes in Father Adam's doublet."
-- Victor Hugo, "The Hunchback of Notre-Dame"

To be is to do" --Socrates.
"To do is to be" --Jean-Paul Sartre.
"Do be do be do" --Frank Sinatra.

Madness, we fancy, gave an illltimed birth
To grinning laughter and to frantic mirth. -Prior

When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies. -James Matther Barrie

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. -Clive James

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. -bumper sticker

He who laughs last thinks slowest. -bumper sticker

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
- Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"Few things are harder to put up with than a good example."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"You proceed from a false assumption: I have no ego to bruise."
- Spock, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (yeah, i know, it's star trek but it's a good quote!)

"Wit is educated insolence."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

"Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
- Dereke Bruce

"If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before."
- Mae West (1892-1980)

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move."
- Douglas Adams (1952-)

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
- Tom Clancy (1947-)

"I would like to be able to admire a man’s opinions as I would his dog - without being expected to take it home with me."
- Frank A. Clark

"I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying."
- Woody Allen (1935-)

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is ‘God is crying’. And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is ‘Probably because of something you did’."
- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

"Hell is paved with good samaritans."
- William M. Holden

"Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday."
- Woody Allen (1935-)

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible."
- A Yale University management professor, in response to student Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal Express)

"God for you is where you sweep away all the mysteries of the world, all the challenges to our intelligence. You simply turn your mind off and say God did it."
- Carl Sagan (1934-1996), Contact

"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."
- Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"I would have made a good Pope."
- Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994)

"Do, or do not. There is no ‘try’."
- Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

"If everything is under control, you are going too slow."
- Mario Andretti (1940-)

"The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1841-1935)

"I am become death, shatterer of worlds."
- Robert J. Oppenheimer (1904-1967) (citing the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing the world’s first nuclear explosion)

"Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d."
- William Congreve (1670-1729)

"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."
- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

"If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?"
- Will Rogers (1879-1935)

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"What do you take me for, an idiot?;"
General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice."
- Bill Cosby (1937-)

"I don’t know anything about music. In my line you don’t have to."
- Elvis Presley (1935-1977)

"Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
- Pancho Villa (1877-1923), last words

"Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig."
- Proverb

Silence is Never Misquoted